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Allman Brothers - Foot-Shootin' Morons

"Back when me and my brother, Duane, were starting to get serious about music," Gregg Allman once recalled, "the government got real serious about Vietnam. We went on the road in 1965. Just before we left, the mail came, and there's this old, brown, government-looking thing. Sure enough, it said, 'Greetings! Uncle Sam wants you to report...' I thought, What the hell am I gonna do? My brother said, 'I'll tell you what we're gonna do. Just shoot a bullet through your foot.' I thought he was joking. He wasn't. We'd had a couple of hits of speed and a couple bottles of whiskey. An hour later he's got a box of sawed-offs set up in the garage, and he's invited a bunch of broads over. This is the first foot-shooting party! I got ready, and the girls are crying, and my brother's having a hell of a time, calling me chicken shit and all that. So I said, 'I need some kind of target.' I had moccasins on, and Duane painted a target on my left foot. I sat down, took real close aim, and bam! The pain, oh, man! I was bleeding quite a bit because the speed and liquor had my blood pressure going. But I was 17, and you know what they say: 'God protects children and drunks.' At the hospital, I said to my brother, 'They're gonna see the target on the moccasin and report us to the damn government.' Somehow Duane got back into the operating room and got that moccasin back. Nobody ever saw it again."

[According to Margaret Moser's Rock Stars Do the Dumbest Things, a doctor noticed the bull's eye but bandaged Allman's foot and sent him home.]

["During the retreat from the Yalu [during the Korean War], cold was a far worse enemy than the Chinese army. If you took your shoes and socks off you could get frostbite so badly that you had to be flown home. It was a recognised method of escaping from the front -- so long as you didn't develop gangrene and die in the process."]

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